Robert Brumm
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44 Reasons Why Road House is the Best Worst Movie of All Time.

4/14/2013

117 Comments

 
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First of all, let me set the record straight. Road House is a horrible movie. It's cliche after cliche wrapped up in cheesy dialog, over the top acting, and one liners that make Arnold Schwarzenegger cringe.

So why is it every time this piece of crap is on TV, I want - nay - MUST watch it? I just can't resist. What is it about Dalton's ridiculous hair and armpit hugging trousers that keeps me wanting more? Why does Brad Wesley's smug grin make me giggle like a schoolgirl? And why oh why does pain not hurt?

Let's dig into this eighties monstrocity and really get to the nitty gritty. Let's analyze why Road House is the best worst move ever created by man.

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1. The Hair

OK, let's knock out this obvious one right off the bat. This movie was released in 1989. Just based on the hair alone, it's pretty obvious this movie was released in 1989. Even if they made a movie today that was set in 1989, they would have a hard time making it look at dated as RH (1989).
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2. Dalton's "Job Interview"

One of my favorite scenes. Frank Tilghman wants to hire Dalton A.K.A. The Best Cooler in the Business. Dalton sets his terms right off the bat (while sewing up a bleeding gash in his own arm, of course) $500 a night. CASH. Really? Cash? This guy is the best cooler in the business but can't manage to open a checking account? Or maybe coolers are above paying taxes like the rest of us. Either way, Tilghman should have told him he's going on the ADP payroll system like the rest of his employees and to stop being such a dick.

To top it all off, Tilghman asks when he can expect Dalton to show up for work. You know, the job where he just got a $5000 bonus and potentially $3500 a week? He barely gets the question out before Dalton cuts him off by spitting out "Don't. I'll get there." He does realize this guy is is boss, right?
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3. Everybody has Heard of Dalton

I don't care how good of a cooler you are. Are we really supposed to believe that there's some nation-wide community of folks employed in bars that would know who Dalton is? And it's not just the dutchboy haircut waitress who's heard of him. Apparently it's everybody who lives in Jasper, Missouri. That is one famous bouncer.
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4. This Guy

It takes guts to be the only man in the place dancing with your shirt off. I like the cut of his jib.
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5. Dalton's Head Shaking/Nodding

Dalton is a man of few words. If he's not talking, you can be pretty sure he's either shaking his head while smirking as somebody does something stupid in front of him, OR, he's nodding at one of his stooges to give them the signal to kick ass. Notice his hair doesn't move an inch while doing either.
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6. This Guy

Not sure why the director found it important to spend three seconds on an out of place wierdo laughing during a fight scene. Twice. But it's okay. He accidentally gets knocked out with a bottle.
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7. Dalton Isn't a Very Savvy Consumer

Dalton buys a used car so his precious Mercedes doesn't get keyed. What's his main concern? He wants to know if the headlight covers work. He doesn't even take it for a test drive. I guess it's instincts like those that make him so damn good. We see more of his bad decision making later on when he agrees to take a crappy room in a barn before even hearing what the rent is.
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8. Brad Wesley

The smuggest movie villain of all time? Just try to convince me otherwise.
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9. Dalton's First Meeting With the Bouncers

What does $500 a night (cash) get you? Original gems like, "It's my way or the highway. Expect the unexpected." and "It's two nouns combined to elicit a prescribed response." Oh yeah, and "I want you to be nice until it's time to not be nice." Money well spent.
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10. The Floozy

We don't know her name and we don't care. The hair, the cleavage, it's the complete package of any good floozy worth her weight in Aqua Net.
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11. Dalton's Coffee Preference

Leaded or unleaded? Even the lame jokes are dated. No person on the planet born after 1990 is going to understand this reference.
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12. Patrick Swayze's Ass

You know, for the ladies in the audience.
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13. Brad Wesley

Isn't he just the best?
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14. Jimmy

Wesley's right hand man and head goon. Later on in the movie, he reveals to Dalton what he did to guys like him in prison. Surprised?  Mmmm, not so much.
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15. This Guy

I guess when he lost his job as a seventh grade math teacher, this guy's only option for employment was Hired Goon. Times are tough in Jasper.
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16. "Pain Don't Hurt."

Arguably the most famous line in the movie and probably the most idiotic. Be sure to watch the director's cut for other beauties such as "Water ain't wet." By the way, Mr. NYU Philosophy Major, it's pain doesn't hurt.
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17. Doc

Producer: "Nobody will believe this hot 29 year old blonde is a doctor. Give her some big glasses and a ponytail. Stat."
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18. Brad Wesley's Boots

They're um....well, they....uh. Yeah.
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19. Dalton's Wardrobe

Strong with the force, this one is.
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20. "Right Boot."

Producer: "Tell the boys in post-production to make it shine. That would be sweeeeet."
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21. These Two

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I guess the bus to the pretend army guy and cowgirl convention made a rest stop at the Double Duece.
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22. I already mentioned, the hair. Right?
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23. Floozy Gets a Black Eye

Just so we don't forget Wesley is a bad guy. That director's cut we mentioned earlier contains a scene where he kicks a puppy and calls his nanna a whore.
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24. Dalton and Doc's Love Scene

Again, for the ladies in the house. Nothing says romance like doing it up against a filthy brick wall. In a barn.
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25. Swayze's Belly Button

EEEWWWW!!!!!!
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26. Dalton's Fightin' Slacks

Look closely and you can totally see his package.
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27. Wade Garrett

All his exes live in Texas. Oh yeah, and everybody knows who he is too.
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28. Brad Wesley

Smuggest. Villain. Ever.
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29. Floozy's Topless Scene

You know, for the men in the audience.
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30. Keith David

Anybody else find it strange that his character doesn't show up until after an hour into the movie?
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31. The Monster Truck

Just so we wouldn't forget this movie was from the 80s, they tossed in a monster truck for good measure. At this point in the picture I had the same thought as everyone else: "Is this thing ever going to drive over some cars or what?!?"
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32. Um...
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33. Dalton and Garrett Disagree

Producer to screen writers: "I don't care what the reason is, but you guys better come up with a scene where Wade blocks one of Dalton's passionate punches. That would be sweeeet!"
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34. Dalton and Doc Disagree

Just when we think things couldn't get harder on Dalton, he has a fight with his gal pal too. Up until this point in the film, Kelly Lynch is so hot we don't notice she can't act for shit. It's during this scene that...yeah, we sort of notice.
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35. Swayze's Still Got It

It's been a couple of years since Dirty Dancing but he's still got some moves.
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36. Jimmy's Evil Villain Laugh After He Blows Up Emmet's House

I heard they play this clip in all the best acting schools. So students know what not to do.
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37. Dalton and Jimmy's Slightly Homoerotic Fight Scene

Just two glistening dudes fighting in the moonlight down by the river.
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38. That One Part Where the Writers Got Writer's Block

Dalton and Jimmy's fight is over. Jimmy is dead, Doc is horrified the man she loves just killed another man, and Dalton screams out Wesley's name. He floats Jimmy down the river and screams, wait for it..."Fuck you!" Riveting.
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39. Brad Wesley

We've all heard of unconditional love. Brad Wesley invented unconditional smugness. Even though Dalton took out all his goons ninja style, Brad never doubts for a second he'll win. Now that's smug.
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40. Dalton and Wesley's Fight Scene

For a dude pushing 70, Wesley can really take a beating. Even though Dalton has a gun shot wound, he prevails. But for some reason, he doesn't kill Brad. Why? To set up the most hilarious scene in the whole picture....
41. The Entire Town Gets The Chance to Shoot Wesley With Shotguns

Not only can Brad Wesley take a beating, but he gets shot four, yes four, times. All the old dudes he screwed over for years get in a line and started blasting. They even manage to ruin his favorite coffee table.
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42. The Cops Show Up

Hey, wadda know? There are police in Jasper. Never mind half the town blew up or got set on fire and a dead guy floated down the river last night. Must have been all those shotguns going off in Wesley's house that finally woke them up.
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43. Scooby-Doo Ending

Man, the last twenty minutes have been a downer. Blood, death, and violence galore. Cue Tinker for some last minute comedy relief. He didn't see nothin'. A polar bear fell on him. Funny stuff. You guys do remember you just committed murder, right?
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44. Creepy Ending Scene

Only the true die hard fans like myself will notice this one. Dalton and Doc are skinny dipping and look they're about to get busy in the lake. Just one small problem: poor third-wheel-Cody is on the bank playing guitar. He may be blind, but he's not deaf. Awkward.
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I hope you enjoyed these reasons and many more why Road House is the best bad movie ever made. Do yourself a favor and don't skip it next time you're surfing the channels. It doesn't get any better than this. Or worse.

Robert Brumm is a professional Road House enthusiast and the author of several books. He's never had a polar bear fall on him and admits that pain does indeed hurt.



117 Comments
Dee
5/16/2013 06:06:22 am

OMG, someone who shares my love/hate of Roadhouse, the crappiest crapfest ever made. I recently introduced my kids to the awesome world of Roadhouse and we still laugh. Our favorite line? "Does a hobby horse have a wooden dick?!" Gotta love the 80s and this awful movie. So glad to see you included PS's wrap around shirt (?!?!?!), "Pain don't hurt" and everyone knowing this tool's name (ummm, I know the names of ZERO bouncers, excuse me Coolers). Ahhh, thank you for making me laugh like a lunatic at my desk today. I think I will set up the DVR so we catch the next viewing.

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Robert
5/16/2013 07:30:39 am

Glad I could make your day, Dee. I too enjoyed it with my teen son recently. Luckily he got bored before Floozy's topless scene and wondered off. Forgot all about it! :D

I recommend "Road House night" at least once a year with your loved ones.

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pat
11/14/2015 02:34:00 pm

I personally love ROADHOUSE but that is just my opinion. If Ya want worse movie check out ROADHOUSE 'll.

BQB3
2/15/2019 08:02:12 pm

Yeah it’s been five years since you posted this but I came up on this by, Hell I can’t remember, anyway I actually named my kid after the best cooler in the bid-ness. Snuck it right in without the wife knowing where it came from. Orderly was wheeling my wife down for a sonogram and asked us if we’d picked a name, I tell him and he’s asks: “from...” “yup”. Wife in a panicked voice: “FROM WHAT”. By this time there’s crap all over the nursery that says Dalton. Birth announcements have been purchased, the hays in the barn, no take backs. That’s what she gets for not giving me Marshall Dillon.

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Mike H
7/2/2013 06:32:27 am

To tell you how protected we are from things here in Australia, I do not believe I was not even aware of this movie until I caught it on late night TV recently. Sadly, I caught it almost from the start and had to wake my wife up ... you cannot face some things alone!
Congratulations on your critique ..... Whilst accurate, it has brought back painful memories

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Robert
7/2/2013 08:34:16 am

Fear not, Mike. The first time is rough but if you keep watching you'll find it just as addicting and intoxicating as us yanks. Do you guys have famous bouncers down under or is that strictly an american thing? ;)

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MyChoiceVideo link
7/30/2013 04:11:41 pm

By reading the above reviews, I agree with you that this movie is the worst movie of all times. You have indeed shared an interesting post.

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ian
10/27/2013 07:19:19 am

Someone else shares my opinion that this is the best bad movie. Its like a car accident on the freeway, you tell yourself you aren't going to slow down and take a peek, but can't help yourself. I have to believe the the cast and crew of this film had a ball making it - especially Ben Gazzara.
Suggestion: if you liked this for the reasons above, you might check out the van Damme movie "Legionnaire" - another one that doesn't miss a single cliche'.

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Robert
10/27/2013 08:05:14 am

Oooo, Legionnaire, eh? I'll have to check that one out. Thanks for the tip. ~RB

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Art C
11/6/2013 06:31:36 am

Road House is now on Netflix streaming. After a solid decade long interval of non-Road House viewing existence, I've now watched it twice in the last 5 days, and you know what? I'm going back for more. Way more.

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Robert
11/6/2013 07:37:07 am

Art, you could be watching it right now instead of wasting time on my blog. Get cracking, man! ~RB

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Scott
1/27/2014 10:07:29 am

Is Road House the best bad movie of all time?

Does a hobby horse have a wooden dick?

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john link
2/25/2014 09:13:41 am

I actually was watching Roadhouse trying to figure out who the"floozy" was (never seen her again) and stumbled across your gem. I swear I have never laughed harder at anything. You made my day.

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Robert
2/25/2014 01:00:41 pm

Thanks, John. You know, even after my extensive research, I still don't know her name. It's what Swayze would have wanted.

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randy
4/13/2014 12:02:05 pm

She played in jason goes to hell

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john link
2/25/2014 01:58:00 pm

I had to look her up Julie Michaels. She has been in several different roles. Goes watch her in Jason goes to hell the final Friday. She was still smoking hot but her acting is worse than any in Roadhouse.

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Robert
2/26/2014 01:21:32 am

She really only has a few lines in the whole movie. A good floozy knows when to keep her trap shut.

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Julie Michaels
5/9/2014 05:23:42 am

Sorry my acting did not suit you!

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Robert
5/9/2014 06:44:09 am

If this is the REAL Julie Michaels, I demand proof! What did Keanu Reeves say to you after you finished filming the scene where you kicked his ass in the bathroom while naked in Point Break?

By the way, don't listen to John. You nailed the floozy role with your acting skills.

Slim
10/5/2015 07:40:50 pm

Delta one five to foxtrot, please verify your position over...

Matt
2/26/2014 05:37:19 am

I thought I was alone in my RH shame. Thank you for the great laugh. This movie also contains some of my favorite Hollywood conventions including the magic file that contains all sorts of character information (Why would Dalton's medical records include the fact that he has a degree from NYU?), and that even though the story is set in very flat, very humid Missouri, Southern California's jutting dry foothills often dominate the background

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Robert
2/26/2014 12:04:04 pm

Great point, Matt! I can only assume Dalton included his resume in that folder of medical records for some reason. I'll have to watch that scene again, but you might have just pointed out number 45!

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Mike
3/9/2014 11:21:21 pm

They've got the Ozarks in Missouri. At least that what the interwebs says. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Ozarks

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john link
2/26/2014 12:54:11 pm

Yea... And I thought you'd be bigger. Point 46

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Eric
2/28/2014 03:52:02 am

I cannot get over how the economics of this roadhouse work. They have what--8 bouncers plus a cooler? For a place that serves 50 or fewer people? Basically, the net of the first eight drinks of every customer would go to covering the bouncers. Doesn't leave much to pay for other employees, the overhead or profit for the boss. And couldnt they cast some guys who really look like someone would hire them as bouncers?

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Mike
3/8/2014 08:26:11 am

Brad Wesley Drinks Bloody Marys for breakfast. "I brought the mall here, I got the 7-11, I got the photo-mat here...Christ JCPenney is coming here because of me! You ask anybody, they'll tell you."

Best dialogue ever. JCPenney. That was funny even in 1989. I wonder if the cast knew what a piece of crap this was as they filmed and that ironically it is the best movie ever made.

Another reason this is a great movie is Brad Drives his Mustang on the wrong side of the road singing Sh-Boom. He probably stole that car from the Ford dealer that the monster truck destroyed.

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Quentin
3/14/2014 02:13:26 pm

Ahh Roadhouse! One of the greatest worst/best classics ever and one of my shames!

My personal favourite piece of Roadhouse comedy gold is Jimmy's pole vault onto the stage with a billiard cue. I nearly cry every time i see it! When i think about it just seems stupid and not funny but when i see it i can't help but burst out laughing.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TVACVY4DBew

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Robert
3/14/2014 02:49:01 pm

Ha! You guys are giving me gold and pointing out more classic moments that I can't believe I didn't add to the list. Keep 'em coming folks. 44 Reasons will soon grow and I'll give you credit.

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jon
3/14/2014 03:24:19 pm

A bone to pick, Mr.Brumm... Wesley gets several mentions and the Monster Truck only gets one??? On to more reasons why this movies rocks...Nuthin cooler than Garret flipping his hair outta his eyes... numerous times. Dancing at the George Webb-like diner? The headlight covers on Dalton's car... effin cool as HELL!!! The fact that Wesley can control the flow/delivery of booze like it's 20s prohibition. Pain don't hurt, PLUS he carries his medical records with him. "The Double Deuce" as a bar name. A blind guitarist/singer. A character named "Red." Rent is only $100 a month... for a whole barn! The neon "Road House" on the poster/dvd cover.

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Mike
3/17/2014 05:42:03 am

Red's real name is Red West. He was friends with Elvis and who is referred to if you ever hear Sonny and Red of Elvis' Memphis Mafia. I bet he's scene things dumber and cooler than Road House hanging out with Elvis. This probably felt like a documentary to him.

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Renee link
3/15/2014 06:01:04 am

Numbers 4, 6 and 37 are regular occurrences at the Tweedsmuir. Just saying. And that is why I am secretly in love with Roadhouse, while also hating it. Well, that and Patrick Swayze's ass. The bellybutton freaks me out.

And I'm with Jon, the Garrett hair flip deserves a mention and the cost of rent. I need to get me a barn.

Awesome post. I giggled much. ;)

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Smokey
3/28/2014 09:56:19 am

Brilliant analysis!

When Wade shows his scar to the doctor but pretty much just gets his dick out at the table, then proceeds to dance with her & comes across as a douche for putting moves on her when Dalton's already hitting it

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Smokey
3/28/2014 10:04:05 am

Just ran some inflation comparisons on his $500/shift in 1989, this is like getting $950 today, not bad coin.

The Double Douche

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Feather
4/6/2014 11:06:30 am

My favorite comedy of all time! After having watched it time and time again it's even funnier at 2:00 A.M. when your stoned and drunk dubbed over in Spanish.

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sabu
5/20/2014 02:59:00 pm

The floozie's name is Denice. And the movie gets points for featuring the great Terry Funk.

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Zelch
6/27/2014 04:26:26 pm

You deserve an award for this, I've never so much as smirked while reading some douchebag's blog but this one made me spit my beer out :))

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Robert
6/28/2014 03:46:00 am

Zelch, I'm so sorry for your loss. Are we talking about a couple drops here or a mouthful of suds?

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Zelch
12/2/2014 09:17:36 am

I just had to come back and read this again before I watched Road House for the second time this year. It was imported beer from Germany, the kind with a cork in the bottle but the loss was well worth the read. Sha boom sha boom!

John link
7/12/2014 03:13:33 pm

"You're too stupid to have a good time!"..."Damn, That hurts doesn't it?" "The only thing missing from my wall, is your ass!!!"

I must have seen Roadhouse a gazillion times...Cliche central and sucks so bad it's brilliant...
I finally found and bought a Mercedes 560sec--my dream car since seeing the movie. I was thinking about having it painted the same blue as Dalton's car and a vanity tag that says "B NICE".or "DBLDUCE"...nawwwww.

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Robert
7/13/2014 03:25:52 am

Don't say I didn't warn you when you come out in the morning only to find all 4 tires flat and a stop sign is sticking out of the windshield.

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John
7/19/2014 08:23:05 am

Yes, Yes...I Know.."What's wrong with Detroit cars??!!!!" I need some Jeff Healy CD's.....Woops!...The 560 has a cassette player!

Slim
10/5/2015 07:42:58 pm

I'll get all the sleep I need when I'm dead, thanks for the dance doc The fact that Kelly Lynch is portrayed as a doctor is just darn right disturbing.

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john link
7/12/2014 03:26:04 pm

I still enjoy coming back reading the comments from others thanks again Robert.

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Jim
7/22/2014 04:34:56 pm

So funny! Finally a safe place to admit I watch this disaster every time I find it surfing...mijo.

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Janet
9/4/2014 12:19:37 pm

Hilarious! Up there with best lines is "what's going on, mijo?". Other gems: Dalton rips Jimmy's throat out, the skimming bar tender, Jeff Healey as Cody. Roadhouse is on my list of 80s movies that I'm shamefully compelled to watch.... Beastmaster (1982) and Ladyhawke (1985) are also on that list! Solid gold shit!

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Lance Mannion
11/16/2014 08:03:21 am

The name is .....Dalton.........seen it at least 25 times......that and Waterworld.......

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Brumm
11/16/2014 11:50:27 am

Only 25? Gotta say, I'm a little disappointed. I'm with you on WW. Underrated flick.

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melissa link
12/23/2015 06:20:56 pm

I will be your friend
Yes of course love to have you
To be my first friend

john
11/20/2014 06:10:50 pm

"I'm looking for a skinny runt named Dalton"

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Jim
12/9/2014 01:30:21 pm

Robert, I cannot thank you and all the comments to this blog enough! I came across this while watching the epic, mesmerizing legend of comedy that is Roadhouse. I am still chuckling at all this but what fasinates me is how everyone missed the ambulance going 96 m.p.h. during the incredible fire at Reds NAPA store. Funny how there are no paved parking lots ANYWHERE? Wesley must have used all that money on the deal he's brokering with a strip mall that has a K-MART. Anyway thanks to all for the laughs!

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Robert
12/9/2014 10:31:58 pm

K-Mart? Nah, that would hurt JCPenny's sales. Remember? He even brought Penny's into town!

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Frank Damage
12/17/2014 10:38:15 am

You forgot the closet sex scene in the bar where some unlucky/lucky employee gets to take a indefinite break. The goofball laughing for three seconds is a badass!

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Robert
12/17/2014 12:23:26 pm

Oh, I didn't forget. One of my favorite scenes, but the list is limited to a strict 44 items. I don't make the rules....

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Patrick Swayze
4/10/2015 08:52:39 am

Wow, the NYPD is now using Roadhouse clips it part of its training of new cops. Monumental. And yes Brad Wesley is a huge villain, one of the best ever. But you forgot to mention the awesome scene where he is driving down the road, singing a 50's song, swaying in and outta lane and almost knocks my ass silly. Pure joy ole Brad's (Ben G's) kisser. This movie also kind of laid the path for my boy Seagal in the 90's. "Anybody know who did Ritchie?"

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chuck
4/23/2015 10:12:18 pm

Even with all the clichés, it's still a classic! Just like point break. ....Patrick is the man

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Justin
6/30/2015 01:59:19 pm

"That dog won't hunt!"

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Brad Wesley - Jasper Improvement Society
7/8/2015 09:39:35 am

When I came out here, there was nothing.
Now there's a JCPenney, a 7-11 and the Photomat!

Bloody Marie's for all!

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Tracy
7/25/2015 05:17:57 pm

I have been searching everywhere for the name of the blonde bartender who gives the line, "Leaded or Unleaded?" Someone said it was Corky Carroll a surfer from the 1960's, but the age would be off, in 1989 he would have been in his mid-40's or older.

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Robert
8/5/2015 12:09:43 am

I checked the IMDB page and I don't think he's listed in the cast.

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Tracy link
12/4/2015 12:43:54 pm

The uncredited bartender is James McIntire, I just saw him in Good Morning Vietnam, he is one of 2 Marines that Adrian Cronauer fights with in Jimmy Wah's bar. He is credited there as James McIntire.

Melanie Green
8/4/2015 10:18:53 am

Am listening to Bob Seger and for some mad reason I thought of this movie. I loved it and still do. My kids think it's total crap (weirdos ) I miss Mr Swayze and his cheese.

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Georgi 'Kaze' Marinov link
9/1/2015 06:30:35 pm

To me, this movie is pure gold, love it!

I watched it 7-8 times and can't get enough, as for cliches and 'weird' stuff - who cares, life is all the same. The main thing is the ATMOSPHERE, this movie has its own charisma, cliches don't matter.
IMO, the central pillar is Sam Elliott's character:
http://www.sanmayce.com/Downloads/Sam%20Elliott%20in%20Roadhouse_B.png

Especially the scene in the snackbar, where Garrett tries to lift the Dalton's burden: "It seems to me, you'd be a little more philosophical about it..."
How many movies feature such a friendship?! I haven't seen none. This scene alone is PARAGONIC, heh-heh!

Let me ask you a personal question Mr. Brumm, what is your Best Best movie ever?
If you apply your analytical skills, I wouldn't be surprised another 44 pearls to pop up.

By the way, why the title is 'Road House' and not 'Roadhouse'?!

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Robert
9/2/2015 12:06:31 am

Hmm. Best Best movie ever? Now that's a tough one, Kaze. I have a lot of favorite movies and it's a lot harder to make fun of a good one.

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Georgi 'Kaze' Marinov link
9/2/2015 01:19:51 am

Indeed, same here.
For example some movies are so deeply imprinted in my psyche that I consider them as part of my associative thinking/feeling, often I catch myself use scenes&ideas as if they were always there. Simply, their power is immense and hidden - one doesn't realize how mysteriously they form our worldview.

But back to the tuffy question, let's narrow it to the TOP 10, even then one is feeling vulnerable of being ridiculed, no? In my case, no, long ago I realized that one should openly back up the soulful products (like books/movies/songs) otherwise it is like betraying the good things by being hypocritical.

Oh, and one more aspect making the choice so hard, sometime e.g. a movie is not good, overall, like a whole, but it features some scene or song or talented actor or just a play of the camera angles which make an heavy imprint and make the viewer feel. No need of rating and ranking and stuff, so the real appreciation comes down to moments that make people more lively and sensitive.

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gofinsc
9/7/2015 08:32:46 pm

Found this because I thought Martin Milner was in the movie, but it was Kevin Tighe instead (Milner was a cop, Tighe an EMT for Jack Webb). Love your list. I like Floozy, but those fake boobs would leave bruises. Also like Kelly Lynch's scenes, but those nipples would cut your hands and your tongue. STUPID movie, but wife had to have the DVD because of Swayze. I have been known to watch about four specific scenes, including the pool.

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Wesley
9/15/2015 11:19:30 pm

Wow I love this movie and the reboot will be horrible in no good ways... But the best part of the movie is when they are spying on Dalton and doctor Clay in the freaking monster truck

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Lamar link
9/18/2015 08:39:11 am

Absolutely love this movie. Wouldn't be the same without him but what in heavens is Jeff Healy doing in that dive?

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Erin link
9/16/2016 11:13:32 am

He's the character who serves to move the plot along! Every time some gossip gets passed along it is by him. He's the blind seer character!

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Well Shit
10/18/2015 10:03:15 pm

How about the Sha Boom Sha Boom seen where Wesley decides that steering his car to the tune of his favorite song is more important than not getting into a head-on collision? I'm still waiting for the confirmation from the floozy Julie Michaels too :(

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Robert
10/8/2016 10:40:44 am

No response from her yet. :(

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Hank Tillman
11/17/2015 08:43:00 am

You are a sick, sick man! lol The phone call between Dalton and Wesley was unbearably over the top. As far as it being the best/worst movie ever, I'll just have to flip a coin......I'd love to let you know how it turns out :)

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Zewt
8/10/2016 02:55:42 am

One of my favorite parts, you are a sick...sick man lmao

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Tammy True
12/4/2015 08:41:31 pm

Love this movie . I watch it over and over. Love Patrick swazye and Sam Elliott's . Anyone who says it's a bad movie don't know good

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Robert
10/8/2016 10:40:01 am

Truer words have never been spoken, er, typed.

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Michael W Crichton
12/16/2015 04:33:37 pm

Number 3 is hardly a fair objection. Of COURSE his new subordinates knew who he was, the boss told them before he got there. And the rest can be explained as small town gossip. As for point 42, obviously the villain told the cops to stay away earlier, but they couldn't delay any longer.

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Robert
12/16/2015 05:46:29 pm

Son, you've got some nerve showing up here being the first person to ever try and debunk my rock solid list. I like it.

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melissa link
12/23/2015 06:17:43 pm

I will be your friend Yes
Yes I love patrick swayze
Very cute I love you
To be my best freind
I will

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Jeff Perkins
7/25/2016 08:29:10 pm

Let's not forget the Double Deuce's amazing ability to repair itself. Night after bar brawl night.

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Robert
10/8/2016 10:39:01 am

Good point. He spends just as much on the nightly cleaning crew. Cash!

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Mike MIddleton
8/22/2016 11:21:06 pm

I have seen this movie a wagon load of times and it's fun. We're not putting rockets on the moon with this film, but it's a classic updated version of the great film the Magnificent Seven. I have to go Denise is taking off her clothes

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Anthony
9/12/2016 04:36:20 pm

I laugh out loud when the bouncers view the Dalton as if he is national star. $3500 a week for a bouncer in a shit kicking bar. A philosophy major at NY and he is a bouncer lol. Who was writing this stuff. Great comedy!!!

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Robert
10/8/2016 10:38:07 am

Comedy?! How dare you sir! Let's step out side...right after I check my hair and slip into my pleated slacks.

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Erin link
9/16/2016 11:11:11 am

I love this post and the all the funny comments and the fact that readers have continued to comment with more reasons this is the best worst movie. I miss Patrick Swayze so much. Road House is my regular Saturday night thing!

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Kim
10/7/2016 09:10:20 pm

This list is perfect! I cried laughing when I read it! I also love the supreme acting and ultra-realistic situation of the big bald guy telling the young mullet man that he could kiss his wife’s boobs for $20. Mullet man replies (with most excellent acting talent) “Are you kidding?” then goes over and grabs wifey’s boobs. When he can’t pay up the big ol’ bar fight starts. Roadhouse!

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Robert
10/8/2016 10:36:46 am

I've always respected that couple's entrepreneur spirit. $20 for a feel-up ain't a bad way to earn some extra cash. BUT...always demand payment up front. Lesson learned.

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Dave
10/20/2016 10:43:19 pm

Read every one! Love cheesy Swayze movies! This one is the best!
Love how Garrett is a bad ass but can barely walk. Need to go back and count how many kicks to the knees their are

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Jeff
11/6/2016 12:57:56 am

Dalton's a health nut - yoga, punchin' bag, climbin' rope - and yet, he chain smokes like Lucille Ball. Secondly, he's simply not good at his trade. Two knife wounds? Best friend murdered? Finally, Roger Ebert's review is required reading. And it don't hurt.

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C. Hawkins
12/12/2016 05:00:11 am

Love this article!

One thought that always troubled me. Why didn't Dalton just take Wade to the hospital with him? I mean, he was on his way to see Doc. I guess it's better to just "Sit the f**k down and have a beer."

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Jj
6/20/2017 12:03:06 am

This movie ruined my life. I thought I could be Dalton...had my teeth knocked out pulling my own sweaty, bare-chested moonlight Thai Chi moves in Scottsdale, but was dropped like a girl with a dick.

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ww
7/1/2017 07:22:57 pm

The Family Guy episode where Peter watches Road House is required viewing as well.

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Kat link
8/15/2017 11:59:34 am

Has anyone noticed that through the whole movie Dalton has a cigarette in his mouth but never uses an ashtray? Not even at his own place. He must leave a trail of ash and butts everywhere he goes. What a douche.

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Robert
8/15/2017 12:38:08 pm

I never noticed that. Thanks, Kat! Now I have a reason to watch it again.

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Marie
9/14/2017 06:03:12 am

Brad Wesley is so smug because he has two pool tables.

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blair knight
12/22/2017 11:07:29 pm

dont forget the wink the dancer gives garrett haha

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CJ
2/6/2018 08:46:55 pm

I just read this post tonight...and found myself laughing out loud - wonderful stuff! But I beg to differ with your conclusion, if only in regards to semantics - Roadhouse is not the best worst movie ever made...rather, it's the best B movie ever made. Everything about it screams B movie - the star, the dialogue, the whole premise - but, as a B movie, it's perfect. I love it to bits, and I'm delighted to find that there are others who feel the same way!

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Juniper
3/5/2018 02:16:01 pm

I’ve seen this movie more times than I care to admit, and I never noticed Cody on the bank in the uh, denouement until now.

Oh! The thing about the cops. The cops don’t show up to anything until the end because they’re on Wesley’s payroll. Of course they’re gong to show up to help their “boss.”

Now why the FBI wouldn’t have gotten involved at some point is too logical. It’s the same reason a “cooler” is universally recognized.

I love the barnsex scene because he’s screwing her belly button. Then I think of Bill Murray and laugh even more.

I have found my people.

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Robert
3/5/2018 03:09:34 pm

Cops on the payroll, eh? I like where your head is at, but there's no scene in the movie where they made that obvious. They should have, though. I can picture Doc running to the cops when she's worried about Dalton, only to get greeted with sneers. Lot's of spitting on the ground and "Little Lady" comments.

Now that I think about it, it's pretty obvious that Wesley had the cops under his thumb. When I drove my monster truck through the local Ford dealership last week, they swarmed the place in no time.

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Bill B
3/10/2018 10:30:33 pm

Don't forget the expert javelin-esque spear throw by Brad in final fight scene. Could stop a charging rhino in its tracks.

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TS
5/16/2018 07:41:32 pm

Almost nothing in the movie makes sense. It's not just the most entertaining, but also the most re-watchable, crap film ever made, that is no mean feat.

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DB
6/9/2018 06:37:23 pm

what about when Wesley sucker punches o'conner in the nose and says he doesn't like him cause he bleeds? What the hell did he think was gonna happen!!

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AB
1/11/2021 07:49:30 pm

You wanna know why you disgust me? cause you're a bleeder.
Say this one to my buddies, Minus the punch!

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Hurt Reynolds
6/27/2018 02:33:07 pm

O'connor has the best line in the movie. "Shut up, Shithead!" When a kid gets loud in the store or theater, I whisper this to him/her.

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Lucas
8/10/2018 08:20:46 am

That was hilarous. I always thought that was Carrie perving on little dalton by the river but you are right it was the code man.

I see you found my trophy room Dalton. The only thing that's missing... is your ass!

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Joy
11/24/2018 07:20:45 am

The falling, lethal stuffed polar bear!

My first time watching and that is my take away moment.

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Payne Donthurt
12/7/2018 04:37:00 pm

Great page, excellent analysis, awesome comments. Road House is the best.

In addition to cooler, philosopher, and perfect mullet, don't forget Dalton was an accountant....

Dalton: You're going through a bottle every 30 minutes, you're skimming the till for 6 shots a bottle. On drafts, 1 every 10.

Dalton: [to Tilghman] I figure he's costing you about 150 a night.

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Coffee, black
12/7/2018 04:40:25 pm

Dalton gets back from his date with the Doc (she's wearing a picnic table cloth), pulls the stop sign out of his car and salutes her as she drives away. At ease, soldier.

My personal favorite, "Wanna fight d----less? I'm sure not gonna show you my d---." Umm, that wasn't the question. He asked if you wanted to fight. If you want to compare anatomy, see Jimmy by the monster truck parked secretly among the ordinary vehicles in the parking lot.

The love scene on the roof outside Dalton's barn-room window... from Brad's creepy voyeur perspective, it looks like 2 chicks. Patrick and Elizabeth have the same hair color and style.

One more, nothing is more smug and sinister as riding a Honda 3-wheeler while wearing yellow leather gloves and a safari vest. This guy is pure evil.

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spud
1/9/2019 09:16:24 pm

I'm watching it in 2019. The coolest thing about Swayze is for all his movies dancing and such he loved his wife and horses and lived a great life to the end.

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Lance Mannion
4/23/2019 07:13:23 pm

I’m watching it right now......Jimmys about to get tossed out.....he’s flipping over the pool cue , Wesley fires off a round into the ceiling.....new town , same story ,eh , mijo.....he’s a drifter , you know.....

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Bob
9/2/2019 08:03:59 pm

Whoever wrote this review is a total sissy.
door supervisor today are unless pussy

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Bobby Morris
6/14/2020 05:06:48 am

One of my favorite movies, of all time!
I know Swayze, would’ve never picked a
fight with Terry Funk, in real life...lol...
A question I have is, what happened to the guy
leaving Red’s store, who says “life is good” ?
I don’t remember seeing the big guy, who says
“You want to fight, di#kless?” Then Wade Garrett says
“I sure ain’t going to show you my di#k” lol
Both of those guys were missing, from Wesley’s house, at the end? Couple of other movies, that bring me back to that era, is The Principal and Tuff Turf! I’m here in 2020

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Paul
7/22/2020 05:36:46 pm

Watching it now for the xth time on tele.

Great blog and accurate.

Still hate it they kill off Wade Garret...

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Bobby
7/22/2020 07:41:57 pm

“This is a Sears credit card”
“Beverley, Agnes!”
I’m thinking it was Agnes, that was smoking hot, so I would’ve continued to stay on my break...lol

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Jered
9/3/2020 08:09:40 pm

You ever notice when Dalton fights Wesley that Wesley tosses a spear so hard it looks like it was shot out of a cannon? For a 70 year old, dude can fight.

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AB
1/11/2021 07:14:49 pm

Steve:
What if somebody calls my mama a whore? Is she?
You're gonna be my regular Saturday-night thing, baby!

My dad took me to see this at the movie theater when I was in elementary school. I don't think he knew what was coming. but still one of the coolest things he ever did!

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Jeff Perkins
2/20/2021 10:06:32 pm

Watch for Sam Elliott's flubbed line: "Same town, new story."

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Dawn, Steel
8/23/2021 10:45:33 pm

Are Doc and Dalton skinny-dipping in the same polluted pond water that Jimmy's corpse was thrown into?

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Lincoln
10/10/2022 08:09:02 am

I can't find images of the bad guy in the white boots.

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