I know I usually blog about writing, but can we talk about ingredients for a minute?
Tonight I sat down to dinner, and the conversation around the table was so dull, I started reading the labels of the various condiments and containers on the table to entertain myself.
Having read the Heinz 57 label many times in the past, I was pleased to see a newcomer on the table: Great Value brand Seasoned Salt. I skimmed through the nutritional facts quickly, on account of all of the values were 0. The only exception being sodium at 380 mg per serving. No surprise there.
I turned to the ingredients:
Whoa, back up there a minute. Spices? Aren't the first four ingredients spices? How does that work? List off a handful of very specific ingredients and then toss one vague ingredient that is the definition of all the previous ingredients and could be anything?
What's the point? Why not just list - Ingredients: Spices. And more importantly, what are they hiding? What sort of shady potpourri of flavors are they trying to sneak past the FDA?
That's like saying, "Who's all on the Packers roster this year?"
"Well, they've got Rodgers, Hawk, Driver, Football Players, Crosby, Finley..."
Oh, but that's just the beginning, my friends.
Keep going down the list of ingredients, past the tricalcium phosphate, and paprika oleoresin (for color), and you'll find "natural flavor." Really? That could be anymillions of flavor combinations under the sun!
Natural flavor in relation to what? Cat urine? That's natural. Again, what's the point in listing ingredients if you can just throw in vague and unspecific ingredients all willy-nilly whenever you'd like? How about some pixie dust? Good intentions? Mmmm. Good eating.
But don't worry. You may not know what mystery spices or natural flavors may be brewing in your 1/4 tsp serving of seasoned salt, but the label makes it very clear there may be traces of milk, eggs, wheat, and soy, lurking somewhere in the bottle. Oh yeah, also traces of food. Just in case you have allergies. You'll want to know what to look out for.